Breastfeeding

It's obviously not an easy one for me, but I think it's for the for my mental health.....

I've decided that I'm going to stop trying to increase my milk. I'm still going to let Zachary nurse before I bottle feed, and I'll pump if he misses a feeding on me, but I'm no longer going to pull my hair out trying to increase my supply. 

I made the decision yesterday and I told Raph in the evening and immediately burst into tears after telling him. He gave me a huge hug and talked to me about how well Zachary was doing and how happy he is and that it's my turn to enjoy this whole experience too without worrying so much about what my body can and cannot do. And I know that Zachary is ok with the whole thing, it's totally my issue. 

I said to him, I know it's the right decision, but it is still a hard one. He just held me and loved me.

So now I just need to let my heart greive a little bit and then I can move on....