Not perfect and no need to be

Disclaimer: This is in no way meant in a way to say that what other people are doing is wrong, just my thoughts.....

I have often been thinking about parenting. I feel like in a lot of ways I fall very much into the norm, but in some ways I don't. I don't run to the doctor at the slightest sign of the sniffles, my daughter has had no vaccines and my son has only had two to date and I'm still not sure about vaccinating them. I didn't follow all the rules around what foods come in what order and did not feed them wheat until the other foods had been introduced. 

I'm not saying that any of these things are wrong or bad or good or anything like that...just that I don't necessarily do them.  

The one parenting thing that is on my mind more than others these days however is the fact that I'm not home full time with my kids. Everywhere I turn I see/hear people say "Mom being home with the kids is best for the kids". Some of my friends did it/are doing it with their kids, some are not. I don't think any one way is right or wrong. Some are not due to money, some just don't feel like they are "stay at home" type people.

The first time I went back to work after my maternity leave with my son was over, it was due to the second type...I just couldn't see myself staying home full time. I felt that my relationship with my son was actually less productive with me at home full time and that once I went back to work my time with him was more about quality vs quantity. Yes I missed some stuff, but when I was with him I felt like I was WITH him and not just waiting for the next nap, or daddy to get home so I could escape. 

When I went back to work after my daughters mat leave it ended up being more about money. I had originally resolved to stay home with them both as full time childcare is EXPENSIVE and we thought that financially it made more sense for me to stay home. However due to circumstances beyond our control The Dada wasn't working and so I needed to go back to help support financially. 

Some people commented... "oh well, you really had no choice, you needed the money"... like somehow that was more acceptable then me wanting to go back for the reason I did the first time. I'm not saying that anyone was judging my decision before, just that it sometimes crosses my mind that it was more acceptable for me to HAVE to go back to work vs me WANTING to go back. 

Why does a woman have to stay home with her children to give them the best upbringing? Why does society feel that way? Yes it definitely has its advantages but whatever happened to "It takes a village to raise a child"?...does that not apply in this instance? By having more than one person help me care for my children does it not help give them perspective other than my own?

My own mother went back to work when I was 3 months old as that is as long as she was able to take off. My father was in school full time when I was born. My brother was the same, at 3 months we were in daycare. She has told me however that she doesn't think she could have stayed home full time either. Maybe that is indeed way too early to have another care for one's children, but I think I turned out pretty darn well and although I know my parents are not perfect and did make some mistakes in raising me, I think they did an awesome job. 

My parents were not perfect. I am not perfect. My children will not be perfect. I will work. I will not always be the one caring for them. But I will cherish the time I do have with them and do what I can to instill my own morals and values on them....and I think they will be just fine.